Ntsikie Gubu-Ntaba

How I met Ntsikie is a complete testimony of the smallness of the globe. She had been preparing for her graduation in 2006 and had come to my then workplace to print invitation cards. Cut-straight to 2009, I walked into Nelson Mandela Academic Hospital with slight labour pains, guess who gets to attend to me... A few months after that we found ourselves in the same church. Because it is in her deepest nature to bring people together, one day, Ntsiki and her other friends were attending a camp in Drakensberg, so she invited me along and I was game, I think it is right here where I should say the rest is history? Ntsikie is one of those people who will completely surprise you once you get to know her. She has a quiet spirit, but she's not quiet. Let's just say you need to get close to her to realise that she's not quiet but has a lowly heart, and getting close to her is the easiest thing since she is welcoming and loves getting to know people, she's quite a friend collector. If you want to have fun and adventure, she’s your girl, one of the most humble people I have ever come across, Ntsikie could become the president of the country today and she’ll be too humble to even say “I’m the new president", you’ll be shocked when you see her on t.v delivering a “fellow South Africans" speech; only then will you realise that all along, your friend is the president of your country and you didn't even know it. Anyway, I want to go on and on about the kind of awesomeness she possesses and about how there's a plethora of other people out there who would attest to the blessing she has been to many, as well as why I think she's a woman of inspiration and influence, but I'm hoping you'll find out for yourself when you read up on her.

1. Who is Ntsikie Ntaba, and what are you doing on this planet?

I’m the daughter of the Most High, a believer in the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ, a wife to Mnqweno Ntaba, blessed with 2 children, I’m a daughter, a first born of 3. I’m here to give back to people, to make them aware that there is God in heaven who blesses and takes care of us, therefore my life is all about doing good so that God may be glorified. "Blessed to be a blessing" is my motto.

2. Please tell us about your journey and how you've reached the point where you are now, spiritually, mentally, physically, economically, etc

Let me just narrate the story from my growing up until now. I’m a first born as I’ve said, I was raised by both parents; my mom a teacher, and my dad an agricultural inspector. My mom has played a huge role in most of my belief systems and how I grew up. She taught us how to pray. As we went to school, dad would drop us, we went to the same school that my mom was teaching at. After school we would take a taxi with her, and on our way home, there was quite a distance between where the taxi had dropped us to our home. So as we walked, our mom would teach us prayers, we would sing songs and we would have a point that we called a picnic point, where we would just put down our jerseys and sit on the grass and eat our lunch boxes, on pay-day the treat would be KFC. Thereafter we would continue our way home, singing and reciting prayers as we walked, that really built a strong belief system in terms of prayer and knowing Christ and believing in God. Our parents also taught us unity, my dad would tell us that we need to always be united as siblings. He would narrate a story that; if you have one stick it's easy to break it, but if you put multiple sticks together, then it becomes difficult to break them. That was the background of how I grew up.

Going to school, meeting different people has developed me more mentally and in terms of physical growth, part of that influence mostly comes from my husband because, as much as I played a bit of netball at school even though I was not so good at it, most of my phycial activities started after my second born child. My husband has always been a sports person, so he motivated me to do more of the physical activities that I have been doing. I've involved myself in running, bootcamps, and more training. With the presence of covid-19, I also learnt even more in terms of my physical goals. I couldn't go out to run as I wanted because at first when we were allowed to go and run, it was at times that I had to be at work, so I started training at home, and it has been an amazing journey. It has taught me self-discpline, confidence in myself, and so much more. I'm seeing the results of that, there were things I could never do indoors but because of covid-19 times, now I know that I can do anything. Economically, I consider myself blessed. I've always tried to have a journal and draw a budget, so every month I write down what I need to do and this has been a habit most of my life. I then go back and review to see how much I've had and have used. I'm also not afraid to try new ways of making money in order to further my economic goals, as long as as I know that it's not against my God and my family is happy with it.

3. There's a saying that goes like "change the world one person at time", what does that mean for you?

You can have just one person whose life you choose to make a difference in and by that you'll have already made a difference in many other people’s lives. Because that one person is connected to their family and their community, so whatever you were able to do for them, they will pass it on to others. Your gesture doesn’t even need to have monetary value, it could be a smile, listening, caring, holding a hand and making them believe in themselves, that for me is changing the world through one person at a time.

4. Women lead such hectic lives, juggling family, careers, friendships, how do you find the motivation to go on?

I find the motivation to go on from family, friends, colleagues, the joy of finishing what you started, the joy of seeing results, putting a smile on someone’s face. Also what motivates me is the feedback I get when I think I’m just doing a simple task but the receiver or the beholder sees magnitude in it.

Accountability partners keep me going, be it gym groups, dream groups, etc. I write down what I want to do and put time frames, e.g. daily to weekly and 5 even year plans.

Amongst many other bible verses there’s two that really motivate me: “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going”. Ecclesiastes 9:10 NKJV

“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” Corinthians 10:31NKJV

5. Why is sisterhood and women empowerment so important in our society?

Women are the backbone of the society and we live in a time where we 've been made to believe that we need to compete against each other to know who's better in what, but I dont think we should be doing that. For me sisterhood and women empowerment is very important becuase as women, we are able to keep families and communities standing, are compassionate, we know how to go through pain with a smile, we build leaders, we do not easily give up. If you empower a woman you are empowering a nation. We are able to give birth and give life into things because we give birth to people and we give birth to ideas. A sisterhood is important because we need each other as sisters for understanding, encouraging each other and getting rid of such ideas that we're always in competition. We are running this race together, each ofcourse running their own but knowing that at the end of the day, we are together, we are a family.

6. How important is it for us women to be humble and raise humble children?

I've learnt that children naturally do what you do and not what you say. We should therefore build the character of being humble, prepare ourselves mentally, physically even before we bring kids into the world. If you're just doing anyhow, and you’re telling your kids to be humble, it's going to be fuitile. We need this character as women, as parents and just generally as anyone because our children are raised by communities. It still stands that it takes a village to raise a child, so if the women or other people that the children look up to are also humble then that is the character that we’re are going to be grooming into our children.

7. Do you think women are receiving the recognition and respect that they deserve in the workplace and if not, what can be done to change that?

I think there is still a challenge in the workspace of women receiving recognition. It is not as it was years ago, we are certainly improving from pre-apartheid years to early years when we got democracy. We have more females taking leadership positions and generally we have more females getting jobs that were otherwise not “meant for them”. There is still a challenge though in some areas where the fact that you’re a woman discredits you even if you work hard or are doing better than your male counterparts, but because you’re a woman people will not take that into recognition, and sometimes, it will be said that “for gender equity issues” or “to fulfil a certain requirement, let’s offer the position to a woman”, and that’s an injustice because they are not giving you the position because you’re capable, but for Economic Empowerment rating purposes. We do also have a challenge from women themselves, it’s sometimes easier for men to adapt into a leadership position, but a woman may want to be “known” that they are there, they find it difficult to mentor young women or women in subordinate positions. I think the change of mind needs to come from both sides.

8. How do you find the time to wear all the caps that you wear?

It’s at times that I get asked such a question as this one that I'm reminded of the many caps I wear because it's easy to forget since one is not literally wearing the caps. To answer the question; with every opportunity of having to fulfil a certain duty, I give it my all. Apart from me giving my all in different roles, I have a strong support system. I have sisters, friends, many women who have my back. They make it easy for me to live life, hence I forget that I have a lot of caps to wear. They always fill-in the gaps. If it has to do with me looking after my kids, I have my helper Mpho (aka Ausie) who works hard to be there so that when I’m able to come in, I then give it my all because she would’ve covered other things that would’ve maybe hindered me to give it my best. If it comes to taking care of my parents as a first born daughter, I have my sister Akhona and Manyosini who are also working very hard so that when I get to that role, more than half the work is already done. If I have to organise something, I have gifted friends who assist me. Even when it comes to my spiritual life, it’s true, sometimes we’re are weak on our knees, we cannot pray; I have people who are my friends, my sisters, who tell me at 3.a.m that they are there for me, praying with me. So that’s what helps me and keeps me going in life. Mine is to give my best, but God has given me a multitude of sisters, friends, brothers that are my support system. My back is never exposed because I have those people in my life.

9. How can we raise our daughters to be confident women of leadership, at home, community and society at large without encouraging big-headedness?

I think we need to teach them the basic principles in life, they need to learn from us as we become confident women, give them tasks that will help them develop their leadership skills, even in our homes we need to applaud them when they do well. When they don’t do so well we need to be able to encourage and motivate them. We should always remind them that whatever you’re doing is not because of your own ability, there is God who is bigger than you. Also remind them to respect everybody. There’s a saying that goes, “even a wealthy man may need a needle from a poor man”. I may not be putting it correctly but what it essentially means is that, no one has everything, one will always need something from someone. We also need to pray for our children’s humility.

10. What do you think is the best way for us to model humility?

For me, modelling humility is being the best I can be, always ready to apologise, be kind to people, and always lend a hand when you can, and also know that as a human being, you don’t have everything, you need other people.

11. With the rise of Gender Based Violence (GBV) in our country, and being a mom to a boy child, what will you teach your son about the value of women?

It's so painful that we are going through GBV in our country, targeting women more, not to say that men are immune to it or are not suffering. Raising a boy child, and a last born at that may be a bit of a challenge since most of the time more focus is put on grooming the girl, counselling her on how a girl should "behave", giving more chores to the girls, etc. However we should be paying equal attention to all children, male and female, teach our boys that there are no girl or boy chores, and that they are responsible of taking care of themselves, because it starts from the fact that boys are most of the time being taken care of, being served as if they are kings that we need to run around for. When they grow up and if they can't get things done or given to them, they take them violently from females that they meet along the way. What I'm teaching my son is that, he should also serve us as the women and everyone in his life, he needs to show care by asking me how my day was, how his sister is feeling, what he can do to make us feel better if things are not well. I also think that we need to be able to balance things, because when I was growing up, girls were taught that they should be pure, while boys were taught to experiment. This brings a discord into the society because the boys are taught to experiment on girls that are taught to remain pure. I also teach my son to respect everyone, and that he should respect women as he would his mother and sister. We need to teach them to be sensitive to the biological differences between the two and that they must learn to be supportive. We need fathers, brothers and uncles who will model to our sons what being a man means. When I grew up my dad did the grocery shopping at home, not only that, he made sure that his list was never complete without sanitary pads.  If he could, from his generation, why can't our generation do this and more? This is not a sign of weakness but rather how he showed his care for his girls and never wanted them to be embarrassed by  having "accidents" because they did not have sanitary towels. This I will also teach my son.

12. What are your talents and how are you using them to positively impact the next person?

I'm a good listener, I have good organising skills and I'm good at motivating people. What I do to impact the next person is that I listen, I motivate people to be the best they can be.

13. What would you like to achieve before you die/ before Jesus comes back?

I have a passion to make a difference in people's lives. As a family this is always what we strive to achieve. I've always wanted to have someone that I can help with their education, have a foundation where we assist people with paying for their education, as well as have a school.

14. What's on your fun bucket list?

My fun bucket list includes traveling, running, dinner nights, girls nights, fun for couples and celebrating such things as birthdays and other milestones, big or small.

15. If a girl child would shadow you for a week, what would you make sure to teach her?

I would teach her to believe in herself, that it’s not ok to just be good, she needs to aim for greatness. She can do anything, the sky is really not the limit, we should reach far beyond that and she has the potential that sits within her and that she needs to stay focused and trust God in the journey, her dreams should not be based on her current circumstances, there is God and He is greater than any struggles. Lastly, she in unstoppable.

16. What is the greatest lesson that you've learnt about life in general?

That life will humble you. There’s a time for everything. Love can overcome anything.

I’ve also learnt that we’re stronger than we think we are; until you get into a situation, that’s when you realize that you’re strong.

Other life lessons I’ve learnt are: Be content with what you have in life. In varsity I sold milk, yoghurt and tinned fish with money I got from my bursary, instead of only ordering meals, I wanted to get some clothes therefore I went to the shops and saw some nice stuff. While still shopping between the aisles, some lady approached me and told me about how I could get more clothes but we needed to get out somewhere. She asked to keep my bag and phone, she then disappeared somewhere, forever, lol. I went back with an egg on my face, no clothes, no money and no phone.  I had enough when I went to town but I wasn’t content. It’s my first time sharing this embarrassing experience, but it not only taught me to be content but also to work for what I want.

Lastly, I went to University of Transkei (UNITRA) now known as WSU, after having been used to good marks in high school I wrote my first test, I think it was Chemistry, I got 39%. Goodness, I could not believe it! I was shattered, I could not cope. I left everything and went home in distress, crying and told my mom about it. She said “my child if this so strenuous, why don’t you just drop it and start something else?" A lesson I learnt is that sometimes you will not meet the targets you had set for yourself, it’s not the end of life, pick yourself up and try again. My mom’s response taught me that we are not our careers, my emotional wellbeing meant a lot to her than having to force me and be angry that I was not performing and miss a chance of "having a doctor" at home.  This is the support I would like to show to my kids, they come first then the rest follows. Lastly, I never wanted to be at UNITRA, I was born in Umtata General Hospital, I studied in Mthatha all my life, I saw myself in a different province, so even though I was already enrolled at University, I was busy applying and hoping to get accepted in another one. Towards the end of the year I had to re-examine my moves and I asked for a sign from God to continue the struggle of looking for an escape route or just accept my situation and stay. He gave it to me, and I had to stay. I’m very grateful that I stayed. Not only did I experience the greatest training and exposure for my career, I also met my best friend the following year, who later became my husband. Lesson: you may not be where you want to be at the time you want, be patient, there is something even greater in store for you.

17. What do you appreciate the most about yourself?

The fact that when I put my mind into doing something, I will make sure that I do it and carry it through to the end.

18. What does self-love mean to you?

Taking time off, concentrating on me, being kind to myself, forgiving myself, knowing that things will go wrong sometimes; I can make mistakes and it’s not a train smash, being able to move on. For me, selflove also means sleeping, going for massages, taking time to visit a friend to just laugh.

19. What do you reckon "women empowerment" involves?

Finding strong common spiritual foundations and a belief system, e.g empower yourself by knowing your God, that is the place where you start from and get back to. Education in terms of going to school (formal education) and also education that is informal. Self-belief: one can be educated but if one doesn’t believe in themselves then they will not be able to do what they have been gifted to do. Also being mentored by those who have gone through the path, and not really having women in isolation but rather mix them up with males in order for them to be able to get different views and different challenges so that they may be able to overcome.

20. What are you most curious about?

I’m curious about humans, from formation, from the fetal life (hence I'm furthering my studies in Fetal Medicine) up to adulthood. I’m also curious about the human mind.

21. What kind of books do you read and what is the one book or two that have changed your life?

I mostly read books on hope, faith, marriage and family. I also enjoy reading cook-books/recipe books that teach about health. The two books that have impacted my life are: One miracle after the other by Greg Budd, the other is Overcomer by Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick.

22. What do you think you should be doing more of?

More family time and exploring the joys of life with kids and hubby.

23. Who/ what has been your greatest inspiration?

My mom. Her story has motivated me in a lot of ways. She was the 2nd of ten children, her dad didn't believe in girls getting formal education, there were only 3 girls, she was a first of them, then 7 boys. She used to tell us that sometimes she didn't have school uniform because her dad only bought for the boys as it was believed that educating a girl child who would later get married and only benefit her inlaws was a waste. At age 16, she was expected to get married as it was believed that there was no other future for girls other than marriage. So at that age, she moved into a Convent and became a Nun. She spent 16 years as a Nun. She had thought that life would easy, and that she would continue with her studies while serving the Lord as a Nun, but it was not easy, she had to study at night with no electricity but with only a lamp under the blankets until she got her matric. She became an Educator, and then realised that the route she had taken as a Nun was not her calling, because she wanted to have a family and kids. By God's grace she was blessed with a husband (my dad), and she continued with her studies, even as we were in high-school she was still syudying even though she went through the scrutiny of "nay-sayers" who would mock her by saying she was studying for her obituary, she was unstoppable. My mom is my greatest inspiration because she never gave up, she knew what she wanted and she went for it, above that, she wasn't concerned about what people would say and was fearless in changing her decision about being a Nun to being a family woman who strongly pursued her career and dreams.

24. What is the hardest thing you've had to do or go through, and what did you learn from it?

Mthatha is my comfort zone, everyone and everything I need is there, having to move from Mthatha to Durban was the hardest thing for me. As hard as the relocation was, my family members had to go through serious health challenges. I learned that we go through certain difficult things because out there there’s someone who needs to learn from our experiences, and needs to know that we serve a God who can’t be defeated, and also for us to know that we cannot do anything by ourselves, it is all through God’s grace. Through that, the Lord opened our eyes to the fact that “greater is He who is on our side”, I also learned more about love, and that life can change in a blink of an eye, the people that we have, we will not always have, we should appreciate and love them, there’s no time for unforgiveness, hate and competition. I learnt that we serve a mighty God who loves us.

25. What would you say to all the women and young girls across the world?

You’re beautiful, you have a purpose in life, you are complete, you do not need the world to validate you with likes and follows and you do not need anyone else to make you complete. Remain true to yourself, pray that you know what your purpose is and live towards fulfilling your God given purpose and everything will be added unto you. There’s a reason you’re here, you’re loved and you’re a conqueror.

THE END.

Bomie Tikwayo

Her name simply means “full of life” and that,she is. She is genuinely unlike anyone you’ve ever met. The first time I laid my eyes on her, I knew she was different, she looked different, MY kind of different, almost nerdy… she was exactly my “cup of tea”. Not long after that, we found ourselves waiting at some Total Filling station for a minibus to Ngqamakhwe, we were both attending a funeral. We had never been properly introduced before, and the first thing she cheerfully said to me was “hi ntombi, my name is Bomikazi Tikwayo, you can call me Bomie!” Next thing we were chatting like we’d long known each other, going to the “under the garden bathroom” together, having a picnic together, attending camps together, you name it. My absolute adoration for Bomie comes from the fact that she is a simple girl, a lady at heart, completely down to earth, her lifestyle is vastly different from what most are used to but she never imposes her beliefs on anyone nor makes anyone feel uncomfortable for having different beliefs. Bomie has a passion for life, education and children amongst other many things, here’s more of her…

1. Who are you and what do you think your purpose on earth is?

I am a hard nut to crack, bubbly, warm, inviting, lovely, lovable and a loving people’s person. My purpose on earth is to help children know that they matter and can be the best that they can be. Training, moulding and fashioning children into the best version that reflects a lovely character is to be done in loving kindness with all tenderness and care so that they do not resent their childhood or even the one entrusted to do such divine work.

2. Please tell us about your journey and how you've reached the point where you are now, spiritually, mentally, physically etc.

Reaching where I am now is more than all else fuelled by knowing that God has been and always will be with me, also, knowing that I’m the only one who can fulfil my life’s purpose in the way that God has implanted in my heart.

3. What kind of legacy would you like to leave on earth?

I believe it will all be reproduced by the children I come into contact with more frequently and get to spend time with, moreover my son for he only gets the best and worst of me for there is no pretending or fakeness he gets to encounter with me.

4. What gives you the motivation to keep going on a daily basis?

The belief that I am not yet where I am ought to be and having accepted that grinding is to continue as long as there is still breath in me, knowing that God has got my and my son’s backs, and looking forward to the blessed hope of Christ’s soon appearing.

5. How would you advise your 13 year old self?

Keep enjoying each moment as life unfolds it to you, and keep embracing diversity.

6. With the rise of Gender Based Violence in our country, and being a mom to a boy child, what will you teach your son about the value of women?

I think this is mostly instilled through values and morals. What I mean is that; if a child understands that my “NO” wavers not and is consistent where applicable, then he’ll find it easy not to only respect “NO” from women but also his other associates as he grows. And one thing I have just learnt recently from my 2 year old son is that he needs his “NO” to be respected too. At times when he is doing bathroom business, he either hides in the closet or shuts himself in a room with no one so that he can do his business freely though he is still on diapers, I allow him because I think giving him that respect also teaches him that people need to be given room to be themselves.

7. What do you understand about education?

I think education has not only to do with mental development, but also social, spiritual and physical aspects of a human being and that is to be harmonious.

8. What are your talents and how are you using them to positively impact the next person?

I am not sure if my passion and love for kids is a talent, but it does not even bother me one bit to meet a child’s need and minister to it with all care and due kindness and love. I also find it easy to serve, listen without imposing my ideas and opinions and making people feel good about who they are is one thing I do easily.

9. What would you like to achieve before you die/ before Jesus comes back?

Before all is over for me, I would be more content and see myself as have done it all if I get to be in the media, be it television/ have a kiddies show on t.v or radio, write and publish a book, own and run my ideal school, continue seeing my son grow into the man that he is meant to be on a daily basis and lastly get married to the man that’ll love me like he has never loved before and continue choosing to love, cherish and make me feel like I’m the only woman in his world.

10. What's on your fun bucket list?

Travel, learn to swim, dance in the rain in my birthday suit, karaoke club, listen to country music without disturbance, go on a cruise, have a ladies only night, camp outdoors, go for a spa treatment, attend an award ceremony, meet my favourite celebrities in person. (Let me end here there is more)

11. If a girl child would shadow you for a week, what would you make sure to teach them?

Self-denial, self-control and doing whatever am doing to the best of my ability and in a manner that leaves a smile on the other person.

12. What is your opinion on societal standards towards women concerning such topics as marriage, child bearing and leadership?

I think we need a break, the pressure is too much when it comes to conforming to norms and acceptable standards. Women can take feminine leadership roles and do very well, then there are some roles wherein I feel like no matter how much women try or do they can never ever do them in a way that men do them. God created us differently for a reason and a purpose therefore we need not try so hard to be like men but rather learn how to be more feminine in this distorted world so that we are not as though we're competing with men but rather embracing our femininity. When it comes to marriage we need to accept that not all women are meant to have a spouse and or bear children. We are not to box people into what we believe is ideal in our own understanding but rather learn to live with that which is different for different is good.

13. What is your understanding of the phrase "the future is female"?

The majority of women will run the world.

14. What is the greatest lesson that you’ve learnt about life in general?

Life is an interesting discovery, you have to continue equipping, educating and just informing yourself for there is something new to learn as life itself is a textbook filled with wonders, possibilities and so much more.

15. What do you appreciate the most about yourself?

My smile, my figure, my long legs, my being ageless and my tone.

16. What does self-love mean to you?

As someone once easily put it, “it begins with you“, also one of my favourite phenomenal women, Lisa Nichols adds on by saying, “you cannot pour from an empty cup”. Fill yourself up first and overflow so that you do not run on dry. Christ is a perfect example for He is quoted as someone who spent moments in solitude communing with God so that He is girded with strength for the daily tasks. It’s said that in the early hours of the morning after all His daily tasks were done and dusted He gave Himself some “me time” or selflove.

17. What are you most curious about?

Nature, love, relationships, children, how the body works as well as Christianity and all that has to do with God.

18. What kind of books do you read and what is the one book or two that have changed your life?

I’m more on spiritual, love and relationships most of the time but I am someone who is an all-rounder and give myself challenges so if I want to learn more about health then I’ll give myself a month or two on a particular subject while still on my core topics. The Bible, Steps to Christ and Desire of Ages are my favourite books. Except for the bible, these books were written by Ellen G White. Other than these 3 books, as long as it’s non-fiction I do give it a try.

19. What do you think you should be doing more of?

Exercising more, eating more healthy, playing more, going out more and sleeping more.

20. Who/ what has been your greatest inspiration?

I am one of the people who grew up wanting to be totally different from what I saw most frequently because it just didn't  seem to serve me well, because of that, I have not one person or thing to single out. 

21. What would you say to all the women and young girls across the world?

Take time to know and understand yourself, trust not easily but rather give people time to show their true self first, your mistakes are learning curves, do not beat yourself up because of them. Seek not validation from any other source but God and let Him be your confidant, true best friend and reason for all. Finally the still small voice/whispering of the holy Spirit is always the voice that should speak volumes, don't only listen to it but do according to its biddings.

THE END.

Mpesh Panduva

Nompendulo (Mpesh) Panduva is resilience personified. The first time I ever laid my eyes on her, she was conducting a lesson at church. One of the first things I noticed about her was her lisp, and I was instantly...put off. Please hear me out, this is not as negative as it might come across. You know the saying that goes..."in others we hate what we hate about ourselves"?. That was the situation. I have a prominent lisp that I was completely insecure about at the time, and so, I was in complete disapproval of anyone with a lisp because it reminded me of mine and I had this foolish belief that if I were to dare even hang out with her my lisp would worsen. So lame, right? The good news is that, I'm better now. Today I embrace the lisp, I actually think it's the most adorable thing. OK pardon me, I digress. Back to Mpesh; she was a student at the time therefore I hardly ever saw her frequently at church, until one day. We attended a youth camp together in Port Shepstone, we got allocated into the same room. On arrival day, at exactly midnight, I got up to use the bathroom, I found her kneeling and praying. Nothing screams "phenomenal woman" to me more than one with an active prayer life, (I mean who gets up at 12midnight to pray if they don't have a hot prayer life?) Anyways, during the camping, we kept on being grouped into the same teams and everybody who knows me knows that I suck at strategic thinking, especially if I have to think on my feet. Mpesh kept on bringing ideas on how we would tackle the games and we won each time, I kid you not! In 2017, an Athletic Club that we're both a member of was hosting a race, this is when I truly became close to her as we had to work together a lot and today she is one of my closest friends, lisps and all darling! I'm constantly in awe of her wonderful attributes, if I were to tell you about her awesomeness, this whole website would be about her, as such a woman of her calibre has no choice but to make it into such a publication as this one. Enjoy reading Mpesh's story.

1. Who are you and what do you think your purpose on earth is?

Over the years I have grown to see myself as God’s favourite child, a God fearing woman, I am the true definition of the word “resilience”. I believe that my purpose on earth is to: serve God, be a servant and a friend to mankind.

2. You have greatly persevered to be where you are right now, please tell us about  the spiritual, mental, physical, economical journey that has brought you to where you are today.

Indeed I have persevered. My life’s journey hasn’t been a walk in the park, if anything I’ve been challenged in the most possible ways, I was brought up by my grandmother who passed on in 1993, and left me with my mom, who she was co-parenting with. From an early age I was brought up in a spiritual environment. My gran was a Christian, a firm and a strong believer, and I believe that all that I know spiritually, I derived from what she taught me. You know how we forever preach that “train up a child”, and that the first seven years of a child’s life is most important, I’m a true definition of that, I am a living example. When I was 4, a neighbour of ours asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I said that I wanted to be a Lawyer and I believe that my gran was my inspiration because she would always tell me about these different careers and I guess being a Lawyer was what stuck with me and grew with me. Everyday as I grew up I carried that with me and I knew that no matter what happens in my life, what I want to be is a Lawyer. It was not a smooth journey. When I was in Standard 6 now Grade 9, I had to relocate to the Western Cape in Paarl, I lived with my father for the first time in my life. I stayed there until I passed Grade 12 and that was one of the most challenging periods of my life as I went through all the kinds of abuse you can think of. It was a miracle how I even passed Grade 12. After Grade 12 I had to take a break from my studies as my my mom couldn't put me through school, eventually I started looking for jobs because the situation at home was dire, sometimes we went for days without food.

Amidst all of that, I attended a youth camp at church and took a certified short course in Child minding and child psychology. I believe that the certification helped me secure a job as a teacher in one of the local private schools. I worked there between 2005 and 2007, it was a wonderful experience. I can tell you right now that whatever one has to go through in life, is for a reason and a lesson. The only thing one can do is ask God what the lesson is. In 2007 I registered for my LLB degree in Walter Sisulu University while still working as a teacher. Juggling school and employment was a difficult exercise. Through all the hardships; one involving me getting so ill and having to deregister from university, and starting a catering business then going back to school. God worked His magic over and over and I found myself with a bursary as well as being a working student in the campus, financially supporting myself and my family. I graduated in 2016. The graduation was memorable for me. Nothing beats knowing what you want, applying your faith, believing that even in your darkest hour, God is with you. I graduated!

Prayers now changed, I was looking for a job (articles). My prayer was to work for Legal Aid and be based in Mthatha, my home town. After having applied, I got several phone calls from Legal Aid with positions in various towns in the Eastern Cape, but I turned them down because I had been very specific with God that it had to be Mthatha. Eventually it happened. I started working as a Candidate Attorney at Legal Aid Mthatha in 2017. This has been an emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially taxing journey, but through God I am now where I've wanted to be, an Attorney, also referred to as a Legal Practitioner specialising in Civil Law; I'm able to support my family which is what I'd been praying for. God continues to work miracles in my life.

3. What would you want to be remembered by?

I would want to be remembered as a God fearing woman, someone who went out and sought after what she wanted and never gave up, who did not know the definition of the phrase “giving up”. Someone who, against and despite all odds lived their life, who didn’t allow circumstances to define or shape what her future would be. But rather someone who allowed God to work and do in me, and make manifest what He intended for my life.

4. What daily motivations/ affirmations do you live by?

Mostly it’s bible verses that speak about how God’s strength and power is made perfect in my weakness. There’s a popular quote by Wintley Phipps that I like so much which goes; “it is in the quiet crucible of your personal private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God’s greatest gifts are given in compensation with what you have been through”. I live a lot by what I read in the bible. “Who am I not to be great”, those are some of the quotations that I lean upon. I’m a proverbs type of a person, my favourite text being Proverbs 3:16. I have learnt in life not to ever lean on my own understanding, life has taught me never to put God in a box or corner and to never to pity God. When you’re tired, go straight to God and tell Him “I’ve had it, I’m tired” Over the years I’ve been reciting Isaiah 26:3 “for You will keep Him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed you, because he trusts in You”

5. How would you advise your 13 year old self?

I would tell her to hang on just a little bit longer and that things will get better. I would encourage her to be strong, to plant her feet on God.

6. What is your take on teenage challenges such as teenage pregnancies, suicide, and substance abuse?

For me all these 3 are merely consequences of one’s actions. With teenage pregnancy… I don’t know what we find taboo about it, because pregnancy in itself is a consequence. What really should bother parents, is what the child does prior to us seeing the consequence. My belief is that, however it happens, whenever, wherever; the child that will come out of it is a blessing because only God gives life.

Kids want to commit suicide and it is never about the act itself. There’s always an underlying factor. When there are cracks in the wall, it simply means that there’s a problem with the foundation.

Substance abuse: once again, the problem is the foundation, hence there are cracks in the wall. Either the ground was not levelled properly before the bricks were laid and personally I don’t blame or judge anyone who goes through any of these things. If anything, this is one serious challenge with our youth that we don’t need to only pray about, but we need to make ways, create rules, create platforms where we discuss such things, and make our teenagers feel safe to talk to us. That way we’re able to breed a more clearer, safer and wiser generation of adults. If we fail them as children, the outcome will be these 3. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes no one has failed anyone, people are just experimenting. Be that as it may, the foundation is important. Let’s bring people to God so that He works on the foundation with us, to avoid these cracks on the wall.

7. How would you advise someone who's about to give up?

It gets better. Today's challenges are tomorrow's victories. Nothing lasts forever. God is at work. His power is made perfect in our weakness. When our will runs dry, God proves Himself.  You were born to make manifest the Glory of God, hold on a little while longer, God is about to turn things around. He moulded you, you are a descendant of Royalty. There is no progress without the struggle. There can be no rainbow without a cloud and a storm. What you are going through is nothing but purification. Hang tight it's almost morning.

8. What are your talents and how are you using them to positively impact the next person?

Public speaking, Problem solving, I think on my feet, critical thinker, assertive, never aggressive though I wish I was at times

9. What would you like to achieve before you die/ before Jesus comes back?

Having an intimate relationship with my God. Having Him as my constant. To be able to give whole-heartedly and love like the Father does. Professionally I would want to achieve the ff:

I want to be a Judge and see my name on Law Reports, extend my circle of mentees, reach far and wide, give hope to a black child, groom a girl child, run an organization basically focused solely on giving the black child wings, giving them a voice and giving an opportunity to restore and reinvent oneself.

10. What's on your fun bucket list?

Bungee jumping, a holiday in the Maldives, swim in the ocean with the dolphins. 

11. If a girl child would shadow you for a week, what would you make sure to teach them?

I would teach them the intrinsic nature of integrity. I'm referring to this one first as it is a major player in my profession and a downfall of many. I would also teach them self worth, self love, humility, accountability, further that, nothing in life is free. Be you and do you. Your uniqueness adds value to the world, work smart. Full commitment yields remarkable results.

12. What is your opinion on societal standards towards women concerning such topics as marriage, child bearing and leadership?

Society has boxed women and made them voiceless. Culture plays a prominent role in the enforcement of these standards, that if you are not married you are not woman enough, that your knowledge is limited, that the abilities of a woman are measured by a marital status. On the contrary, women are power, strength, generous, filled with kindness and compassionate anchors. It's time we lift the banner high and step into our role as anchors.

I believe that women are built and created for more than just being child bearers. Women are natural born leaders, look at Esther. 

13. What is your understanding of the phrase "the future is female"?

My understanding of the concept is that, it is to empower women, encourage them to unleash their full potential. 

14. What is the greatest lesson that you've learnt about life in general?

You live every day and die once. Life will humble you. Total surrender to God's will is key

15. What do you appreciate the most about yourself?

My calm nature. and my ability to forgive and move on.

16. What does self-love mean to you?

It attests to having faith in your abilities and still being profoundly cognizant of everyone else's existence.Self love speaks to one’s well being and happiness. You care about others but you prioritize your own needs. Self love is more about knowing your worth and not  settling for less, where you regard yourself highly and still have humility. Self love speaks to your spiritual and physical growth and your appreciation of same. 

18. What are you most curious about?

Anything and everything if my hand reaches it and is good I explore.

Mostly I'm curious about the second coming.  The idea of heaven fascinates me.

19. What kind of books do you read and what is the one book or two that have changed your life?

Except that which relates to my profession, the bible has changed my life. The following books have had an indomitable impact in my growth: “Blessed in the darkness”: Joel Osteen and “Knowing God's will in my life”: Moris L. Vendon

20. What do you think you should be doing more of?

Prayer and meditation. Ialso need to read more.

21. Who/ what has been your greatest inspiration?

I don't think I really have one. I draw inspiration from different people at different stages of my life. Circumstances also have proven to be an influence. I surround myself with people who inspire me, see the best in me and push me to aspire to be and be the best. I call those my inner circle my people 

22. What is the hardest thing you've had to do or go through, and what did you learn from it?

Losing my home to a storm and fire in a space of 3 months. Being homeless for that period and starting over. Starting over for me meant, God giving me new friends as well as some of the old ones disappearing in that chaos. I learnt that life will humble you and that God remains faithful throughout. 

23. What would you say to all the women and young girls across the world?

Identify what you want and go for it. Your only hindrance is you. Believe it, be it and achieve it. You are beautiful. Do you.

THE END.