Mpesh Panduva

Nompendulo (Mpesh) Panduva is resilience personified. The first time I ever laid my eyes on her, she was conducting a lesson at church. One of the first things I noticed about her was her lisp, and I was instantly...put off. Please hear me out, this is not as negative as it might come across. You know the saying that goes..."in others we hate what we hate about ourselves"?. That was the situation. I have a prominent lisp that I was completely insecure about at the time, and so, I was in complete disapproval of anyone with a lisp because it reminded me of mine and I had this foolish belief that if I were to dare even hang out with her my lisp would worsen. So lame, right? The good news is that, I'm better now. Today I embrace the lisp, I actually think it's the most adorable thing. OK pardon me, I digress. Back to Mpesh; she was a student at the time therefore I hardly ever saw her frequently at church, until one day. We attended a youth camp together in Port Shepstone, we got allocated into the same room. On arrival day, at exactly midnight, I got up to use the bathroom, I found her kneeling and praying. Nothing screams "phenomenal woman" to me more than one with an active prayer life, (I mean who gets up at 12midnight to pray if they don't have a hot prayer life?) Anyways, during the camping, we kept on being grouped into the same teams and everybody who knows me knows that I suck at strategic thinking, especially if I have to think on my feet. Mpesh kept on bringing ideas on how we would tackle the games and we won each time, I kid you not! In 2017, an Athletic Club that we're both a member of was hosting a race, this is when I truly became close to her as we had to work together a lot and today she is one of my closest friends, lisps and all darling! I'm constantly in awe of her wonderful attributes, if I were to tell you about her awesomeness, this whole website would be about her, as such a woman of her calibre has no choice but to make it into such a publication as this one. Enjoy reading Mpesh's story.

1. Who are you and what do you think your purpose on earth is?

Over the years I have grown to see myself as God’s favourite child, a God fearing woman, I am the true definition of the word “resilience”. I believe that my purpose on earth is to: serve God, be a servant and a friend to mankind.

2. You have greatly persevered to be where you are right now, please tell us about  the spiritual, mental, physical, economical journey that has brought you to where you are today.

Indeed I have persevered. My life’s journey hasn’t been a walk in the park, if anything I’ve been challenged in the most possible ways, I was brought up by my grandmother who passed on in 1993, and left me with my mom, who she was co-parenting with. From an early age I was brought up in a spiritual environment. My gran was a Christian, a firm and a strong believer, and I believe that all that I know spiritually, I derived from what she taught me. You know how we forever preach that “train up a child”, and that the first seven years of a child’s life is most important, I’m a true definition of that, I am a living example. When I was 4, a neighbour of ours asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I said that I wanted to be a Lawyer and I believe that my gran was my inspiration because she would always tell me about these different careers and I guess being a Lawyer was what stuck with me and grew with me. Everyday as I grew up I carried that with me and I knew that no matter what happens in my life, what I want to be is a Lawyer. It was not a smooth journey. When I was in Standard 6 now Grade 9, I had to relocate to the Western Cape in Paarl, I lived with my father for the first time in my life. I stayed there until I passed Grade 12 and that was one of the most challenging periods of my life as I went through all the kinds of abuse you can think of. It was a miracle how I even passed Grade 12. After Grade 12 I had to take a break from my studies as my my mom couldn't put me through school, eventually I started looking for jobs because the situation at home was dire, sometimes we went for days without food.

Amidst all of that, I attended a youth camp at church and took a certified short course in Child minding and child psychology. I believe that the certification helped me secure a job as a teacher in one of the local private schools. I worked there between 2005 and 2007, it was a wonderful experience. I can tell you right now that whatever one has to go through in life, is for a reason and a lesson. The only thing one can do is ask God what the lesson is. In 2007 I registered for my LLB degree in Walter Sisulu University while still working as a teacher. Juggling school and employment was a difficult exercise. Through all the hardships; one involving me getting so ill and having to deregister from university, and starting a catering business then going back to school. God worked His magic over and over and I found myself with a bursary as well as being a working student in the campus, financially supporting myself and my family. I graduated in 2016. The graduation was memorable for me. Nothing beats knowing what you want, applying your faith, believing that even in your darkest hour, God is with you. I graduated!

Prayers now changed, I was looking for a job (articles). My prayer was to work for Legal Aid and be based in Mthatha, my home town. After having applied, I got several phone calls from Legal Aid with positions in various towns in the Eastern Cape, but I turned them down because I had been very specific with God that it had to be Mthatha. Eventually it happened. I started working as a Candidate Attorney at Legal Aid Mthatha in 2017. This has been an emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially taxing journey, but through God I am now where I've wanted to be, an Attorney, also referred to as a Legal Practitioner specialising in Civil Law; I'm able to support my family which is what I'd been praying for. God continues to work miracles in my life.

3. What would you want to be remembered by?

I would want to be remembered as a God fearing woman, someone who went out and sought after what she wanted and never gave up, who did not know the definition of the phrase “giving up”. Someone who, against and despite all odds lived their life, who didn’t allow circumstances to define or shape what her future would be. But rather someone who allowed God to work and do in me, and make manifest what He intended for my life.

4. What daily motivations/ affirmations do you live by?

Mostly it’s bible verses that speak about how God’s strength and power is made perfect in my weakness. There’s a popular quote by Wintley Phipps that I like so much which goes; “it is in the quiet crucible of your personal private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God’s greatest gifts are given in compensation with what you have been through”. I live a lot by what I read in the bible. “Who am I not to be great”, those are some of the quotations that I lean upon. I’m a proverbs type of a person, my favourite text being Proverbs 3:16. I have learnt in life not to ever lean on my own understanding, life has taught me never to put God in a box or corner and to never to pity God. When you’re tired, go straight to God and tell Him “I’ve had it, I’m tired” Over the years I’ve been reciting Isaiah 26:3 “for You will keep Him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed you, because he trusts in You”

5. How would you advise your 13 year old self?

I would tell her to hang on just a little bit longer and that things will get better. I would encourage her to be strong, to plant her feet on God.

6. What is your take on teenage challenges such as teenage pregnancies, suicide, and substance abuse?

For me all these 3 are merely consequences of one’s actions. With teenage pregnancy… I don’t know what we find taboo about it, because pregnancy in itself is a consequence. What really should bother parents, is what the child does prior to us seeing the consequence. My belief is that, however it happens, whenever, wherever; the child that will come out of it is a blessing because only God gives life.

Kids want to commit suicide and it is never about the act itself. There’s always an underlying factor. When there are cracks in the wall, it simply means that there’s a problem with the foundation.

Substance abuse: once again, the problem is the foundation, hence there are cracks in the wall. Either the ground was not levelled properly before the bricks were laid and personally I don’t blame or judge anyone who goes through any of these things. If anything, this is one serious challenge with our youth that we don’t need to only pray about, but we need to make ways, create rules, create platforms where we discuss such things, and make our teenagers feel safe to talk to us. That way we’re able to breed a more clearer, safer and wiser generation of adults. If we fail them as children, the outcome will be these 3. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes no one has failed anyone, people are just experimenting. Be that as it may, the foundation is important. Let’s bring people to God so that He works on the foundation with us, to avoid these cracks on the wall.

7. How would you advise someone who's about to give up?

It gets better. Today's challenges are tomorrow's victories. Nothing lasts forever. God is at work. His power is made perfect in our weakness. When our will runs dry, God proves Himself.  You were born to make manifest the Glory of God, hold on a little while longer, God is about to turn things around. He moulded you, you are a descendant of Royalty. There is no progress without the struggle. There can be no rainbow without a cloud and a storm. What you are going through is nothing but purification. Hang tight it's almost morning.

8. What are your talents and how are you using them to positively impact the next person?

Public speaking, Problem solving, I think on my feet, critical thinker, assertive, never aggressive though I wish I was at times

9. What would you like to achieve before you die/ before Jesus comes back?

Having an intimate relationship with my God. Having Him as my constant. To be able to give whole-heartedly and love like the Father does. Professionally I would want to achieve the ff:

I want to be a Judge and see my name on Law Reports, extend my circle of mentees, reach far and wide, give hope to a black child, groom a girl child, run an organization basically focused solely on giving the black child wings, giving them a voice and giving an opportunity to restore and reinvent oneself.

10. What's on your fun bucket list?

Bungee jumping, a holiday in the Maldives, swim in the ocean with the dolphins. 

11. If a girl child would shadow you for a week, what would you make sure to teach them?

I would teach them the intrinsic nature of integrity. I'm referring to this one first as it is a major player in my profession and a downfall of many. I would also teach them self worth, self love, humility, accountability, further that, nothing in life is free. Be you and do you. Your uniqueness adds value to the world, work smart. Full commitment yields remarkable results.

12. What is your opinion on societal standards towards women concerning such topics as marriage, child bearing and leadership?

Society has boxed women and made them voiceless. Culture plays a prominent role in the enforcement of these standards, that if you are not married you are not woman enough, that your knowledge is limited, that the abilities of a woman are measured by a marital status. On the contrary, women are power, strength, generous, filled with kindness and compassionate anchors. It's time we lift the banner high and step into our role as anchors.

I believe that women are built and created for more than just being child bearers. Women are natural born leaders, look at Esther. 

13. What is your understanding of the phrase "the future is female"?

My understanding of the concept is that, it is to empower women, encourage them to unleash their full potential. 

14. What is the greatest lesson that you've learnt about life in general?

You live every day and die once. Life will humble you. Total surrender to God's will is key

15. What do you appreciate the most about yourself?

My calm nature. and my ability to forgive and move on.

16. What does self-love mean to you?

It attests to having faith in your abilities and still being profoundly cognizant of everyone else's existence.Self love speaks to one’s well being and happiness. You care about others but you prioritize your own needs. Self love is more about knowing your worth and not  settling for less, where you regard yourself highly and still have humility. Self love speaks to your spiritual and physical growth and your appreciation of same. 

18. What are you most curious about?

Anything and everything if my hand reaches it and is good I explore.

Mostly I'm curious about the second coming.  The idea of heaven fascinates me.

19. What kind of books do you read and what is the one book or two that have changed your life?

Except that which relates to my profession, the bible has changed my life. The following books have had an indomitable impact in my growth: “Blessed in the darkness”: Joel Osteen and “Knowing God's will in my life”: Moris L. Vendon

20. What do you think you should be doing more of?

Prayer and meditation. Ialso need to read more.

21. Who/ what has been your greatest inspiration?

I don't think I really have one. I draw inspiration from different people at different stages of my life. Circumstances also have proven to be an influence. I surround myself with people who inspire me, see the best in me and push me to aspire to be and be the best. I call those my inner circle my people 

22. What is the hardest thing you've had to do or go through, and what did you learn from it?

Losing my home to a storm and fire in a space of 3 months. Being homeless for that period and starting over. Starting over for me meant, God giving me new friends as well as some of the old ones disappearing in that chaos. I learnt that life will humble you and that God remains faithful throughout. 

23. What would you say to all the women and young girls across the world?

Identify what you want and go for it. Your only hindrance is you. Believe it, be it and achieve it. You are beautiful. Do you.

THE END.