Soso Maganga

I can’t talk about Soso without her beauty jumping into my thoughts; & I hate to mention physical beauty when talking about any woman because I never want to dilute her strong attributes such as intelligence, grace and poise, but let’s be honest, this is Nangamso Maganga! 

Upon meeting Sauce, as I refer to her, the first thing I noticed were her “physical blessings”, and I promise, that would have meant absolutely nothing for me had her character been any different. But my absolute adoration for Soso lies, amongst other things, in the beauty of her heart, her ability to do things I find hard to do, her meekness, her love for kids, her ability to quickly adapt to a situation, her strength and ability to stand with her head up, and her fearlessness to be different in a world that pesters us to be what everybody else is and do what everyone is doing. The Book of Women is privileged to feature her in this chapter, she is a woman of very few words and as such, many will agree that getting her to open up is almost close to impossible, therefore this is a complete exclusive! let’s dive in…

1. Who are you and what do you think your purpose on earth is?

My name is Nangamso Xabisa Maganga, a woman with a big heart, my purpose on earth is to show that being different is also cool.

2. What do you understand about spiritual, mental, physical, economic growth?

My understanding of spiritual growth is that nothing around you really matters in the sense that, you should do what God is telling you to do even if the people who surround you have a different opinion. And this is not to say you'll be shoving your beliefs and opinions into people's faces, but rather do it authentically because this is genuinely who you are without pretence. I think spiritual growth also involves rising every time you fall. Mental growth to me, is the ability to calm yourself down even during the times of being overwhelmed by things not going your way and life just being upside down but you're still able to take a deep breath and take a step back. Physical growth is being happy with how you look and taking care of your health. Economic growth for me is being able to financially take care of yourself continuously, and also being able to take of care of other people such as, buying shoes or clothes for a child that needs them, or buying groceries for the family that needs food down the street... just being able to spend money outside of yourself and your family.

3. What would you want to be remembered by?

I'd like to be remembered as someone who was a lady, not by physical appearance but rather by the way in which I carried myself. I'd like people to remember me as someone who lived a life that testified that no matter what happens, there is God in heaven and He is always good.

4. What daily motivations/ affirmations do you live by?

The fact that the Lord is coming again is what motivates me on a daily basis, there are days one wants to throw in the towel and give up but looking forward to that glorious morning brings about new hope, and I then remember that I can never afford to miss it, for everything will be revealed and on that day everything will eventually make sense.

5. How would you advise your 13 year old self?

I would tell her that unconditional self love will help you not to seek love and validation from outward sources, and that as she goes through life she should be careful not to depend on people's opinions of herself because one moment people approve you, the next they don't because essentially people don't even know who they are and what they want in life. Also, that she should know that she may along the way lose relationships even from blood family but that's not the end because family may always be found even outside of blood relations, be it from church members, friends, colleagues, etc. That she should learn to accept certain realities and just laugh them off, be that woman that loves unconditionally even if you don't really have the experience of unconditional love and lastly for her to always treat others fairly even if she has not been treated in that manner.

6. What is your take on teenage challenges such as teenage pregnancies, suicide, and substance abuse?

I actually took it upon myself to converse with a teenager and asked her why it is that they do certain things such as early dating, and her response was that it's for fun, nothing serious and that led me to draw a conclusion that they are bored and curious, and it's kind of understandable as I liken the situation to a plate of food. If you're being served the same boring kind of food everyday you'll be curious to find out what it's like to be served a plate that is colourful with variety. But I think children, regardless of what society bombards them with, should be taught to seek to be different and take a route less travelled because in all honesty, there's hardly any value in what t.v. and social media is dangling in front of their faces. It's easier said than done, but it's worth trying.

7. What do you understand about education?

My take on education is being knowledgeable, not only in a field you have studied but rather an all-rounder, having wisdom that surpasses all understanding because, one can be knowledgeable academically but only to find out that they're just not wise and lack knowledge other than what they went to school for.

8. What are your talents and how are you using them to positively impact the next person?

I love to teach, but not be a teacher by profession but to just impart knowledge from my experiences. I also love nurturing and just taking care of others in a motherly manner.

9. What would you like to achieve before you die/ before Jesus comes back?

Materialistically I'd love to have a home for my kids, and emotionally I'd love to be able to grow the room of me loving people unconditionally. I'd love to also get to a point of loving myself unconditionally and just have that inner peace, also I'd love to get my kids to a point of having them smile from within instead of always seeing worry on their faces. Some people have said that there's a kind of calmness about me, I'd love to extend that to other people and just provide for them a safe space of feeling the calm and feeling like they are cared for.

10. What's do you consider fun?

Anything that has to do with outdoor adventure activities, hiking, camping, team-building activities... just the outdoors. Also just lazying around doing nothing or taking a long bath, date nights with the kids, or my girls, that type of thing.

11. If a girl child would shadow you for a week, what would you make sure to teach them?

Beauty comes from within, the most beautiful girl is one that possesses a beautiful personality and character, one that is kind, polite, respectful, has love, etc. Most of the time society teaches girls to only groom the outside, but I think more focus should be put into building characters and that when they get to do anything, they should do it with the utmost love and passion, that no matter how small the task was, the outcome must be big and amazing, e.g, when she cooks food, she should cook with love and such dedication that the effort is evident in the result.

12. What is the greatest lesson that you've learnt about life in general?

As hard as life can be, it can be hilarious in the sense that, sometimes after going through a rough patch, when you sit down and think about it, you can actually laugh when you realise the ironies, the lesson there is that, try to find the humour and the positive in every trial and tribulation. Also that as we go through life, being alert (especially when receiving advice because the final decision lies with you) and trusting ourselves goes a long way.

13. What do you appreciate the most about yourself?

The love I have and am able to give. It doesn't matter how hurt I get or how I may get treated terribly, I always try to find the spark of love and keep it going. I'm just a big ball of love.

14. What does self-love mean to you?

Self love for me is hearing negative opinions about yourself and still having the audacity to appreciate yourself. We can't run away from the fact that there will always be negative opinions surrounding us, and you may sometimes find yourself questioning your being, but you don't have to dwell there. You have to know and trust who you are and not want to change for anything and anyone, and just follow what you deem important instead of following what people think you should be doing. e.g, if you're a mother who chooses not to have a "job", then stay home and do not listen to people whose opinion says you are not ambitious. Stick to your values because your success and achievements can't be measured by what other people value important. In such situations, your self-love should really stick out.

15. What do you reckon "women empowerment" involves?

For me, as much as it is important for women to be empowered with great career positions and rewards, I think we should not be leaving young girls behind by empowering them emotionally, spiritually, etc because if we're only focusing on the former, it seems to me like we're only building one leg while leaving the other leg to not grow any muscle. We should remember that small kids will grow old and we should want them to be well equipped. Also, while at that, I think we should focus on developing a woman in all spheres, taking care to remember that women are multi-faceted. We need to empower women to run economies as CEO's, while also not forgetting that the same woman is a community leader and a family leader. We need to teach females to shine everywhere they are.

16. Do you think one is ever too old to start something new? Please elaborate

Starting something new as an adult is definitely not easy, especially if you also have a challenge of having non-supportive people around you, but if you have the strength in you and you know that you're not going to feel insecure, and you're not going to panic when you hear negative opinions, then go right ahead. Start whatever it is that you want to start and do it big, with love, give it your all. Don't forget to close your ears to negativity and believe in yourself, you're never too old to start something new. Just never be swayed or give up.

17. What kind of books do you read and what is the one book or two that have changed your life?

I'm not much of a reader to be honest. Does reading bible story books for kids count? I must say I love reading and benefiting from them because they have an element of history as it fascinates me, and I love them because they give me hope. But I'd love to read books on empowering children.

18. What do you think you should be doing more of?

I'd love to be given an opportunity to create more pleasant memories for me and my kids, the previous seven years have been tough for us and I'd love to experience a change of events. I'd love to do more "day one" things, rather than "one day", e.g. instead of saying "one day I'll do that" rather "today is day one of doing that (then seeing it through)" , that's what I'd like to be doing more of. I'd also love to find inner peace more frequently.

19. What do you understand about "leading by example"?

It is showing the way to those coming after you by doing what you're teaching. If you preach one thing and do something else, the kids will always question your authority.

20. What is the hardest thing you've had to do or go through, and what did you learn from it?

Parenting during the last seven years has been the hardest thing because I had to have added strength to face each day; life was just exceedingly hard. It was at such a difficult time that I begun to understand that depression is real, I got to understand why some parents choose to walk away, I'm not condoning it, but I now understand and have loosened the judgements I held towards parents who cope differently. Parenting is hard! But as with all difficult situations, there are lessons and growth. My kids grew to understand and deal with different personalities and characters, also through that harsh phase of our lives; I learnt that there is God in heaven whose grace does carry us through, I could've never made it without strength from Him. Also it is in that process that I learned that I had the most awesome dad, who allowed God to use him to parent me, even though I think he may not have been aware. Through my father I realised that God has always had my back and I'm grateful for that.

21 In closing, what would you like to say to young girls?

Lord knows I love them, my message to young girls is; love yourself unconditionally. Please take care of the inner beauty first and foremost as it will make the outside beauty outstanding and timeless; be your own best friend, do your level best to know yourself, and that way society will not interfere in you becoming a beautiful wonderful lady.

THE END.