Thandi Dano-Ramaano

It was in the summer of 2002, in January, close to her birthday that I met Thandi. Strikingly beautiful, she was wearing a big beautiful smile, a bright yellow tank top and a pair of jeans with her long goldish hair tied into a neat bun. Her countenance so loving and welcoming, I fell in love instantly. Upon getting to know her, I discovered that she had been studying in PE and had left that course to go study Information Technology in East London. I had been bored stiff with studying Human Resources Management in East London and I instantly changed to study IT in the same institution she was enrolled in. It is at that period that we became friends. From the onset, I noticed that Thandi was all about God, she was just different; by now you can tell how much I love “different”. Soon we found ourselves sharing accommodation and everything else in Southernwood East London. Until that year, I had never met anyone like Thandi, her character made me decide that I want to one day raise my kids in the same way she had been raised. I was determined to sponge off from her character, everything I could. She was not like anything I had ever come across, almost flawless by my own standards. I wished to be reborn and be raised-up again with the same education and principles she had been raised with. You’ll be glad to know that she introduced me to that education, so that I could pass it onto my kids. Thandi introduced me to Christ - through her actions, humility, love for people, the way she honoured her parents and her siblings, her conduct in everything, her patience with me, her love for me, and her commitment to God. At the time, I never understood the depth of her commitment and how she could go to church on days where the weather was just terrible terrible - huge winds, rain and all; how she had to miss our graduation because it was on Sabbath; all of it was completely foreign to me but beautiful to behold. I wanted it, every bit of it. Another one of her greatest attributes is her genuineness, you can never not trust her advice and opinion because she is authentic in everything she does and says. I’m yet to meet someone who is as polite yet as frank as her, you can never not understand what she is saying as she doesn’t mince her words; she says what she means and means what she says. I can go and on but the platform is now hers…

Who is Thandi, and what do you think is your purpose? 

My full name is Nomthandazo.  My parents named me Nomthandazo because they prayed to have me, I am an answered prayer. My entire life is defined and revolves around prayer. I am a child of God, who is unconditionally loved, fully accepted and saved by grace. I'm a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a wife, and a mother of three children. I am the founder of Thandi Dano Clothing brand based in Johannesburg. My purpose in life is to reflect God in everything that I do. I enjoy spending time in the presence of God; reading His word, praying and singing. Looking back in my life, I had plans that I made with regards to specific careers and God redirected me to where I am. If I may unpack what I mean is that after I passed Matric, I registered to do Internal Auditing at PE Technikon and God directed me to do IT in East London and within a few days in East London, I met you friend. God connected us because He wanted you in His Kingdom. There are so many of these scenarios in my life and over the years I learnt to give in to what God wants.

2. Please let us in on your core values and beliefs:

My core values are based on the word of God, on who God says I am and remaining true to what He has created me for. I believe that God created everything by His word and created us (human beings) with His own hands and breathed His breath of life in us. 

I believe that the Sabbath is on Saturday, as written in the Bible and that we should rest as God also rested on Sabbath. I also believe and live with the assurance that Jesus is soon coming back again to take all those who believe in Him, those who will be alive at the time and will resurrect those who died in Him and be reunited with our loved ones.

3. What do you reckon is a woman of virtue?

For me, a woman of virtue is a woman who is uncompromisingly herself. A woman who is a friend of God, who loves Him with all of her heart, mind, body and soul. The bible gives us an illustration with the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was busy in the kitchen, using my imagination, she was cooking, baking and serving her guests and she expected Mary to assist, she then went to Jesus to ask Him to reprimand her. Jesus said what was unexpected by saying that Mary chose right by sitting at His feet, as it is where she belongs. This story to me defies everything that a woman of virtue should be. Even today the society constantly defines what a woman of virtue should do and look like but God has given us our identity and that's what we should be.

4. What do you think all people, especially women, should use to measure self-worth?

Self-worth can only be found in God, we cannot find our self-worth in anything or anyone outside of God, not even from our selves. Our worth can only be found and given by the person who created us. We can find our worth in who and what He says we are and mean to Him.

5. With the unfortunate rise of GBV, what in your opinion can we teach our male children about the value of life and women?

I teach my son the same thing that I teach my daughters that, "do unto others as you would like them do unto you". Both genders are equal and equally important and none of them should be superior or inferior to the other. Unfortunately, we raise our children in a patriarchal society that men are superior and that is not Godly, both men and women were created by God to help each other and complement each other. It's important for parents to believe in their children, both genders. Children should know that they can talk to their parents and be believed because in most cases perpetrators tend to be close family members and/or friends.

6. Do you think it’s possible to be completely fearless?

Of course not.  Sin brought fear, the Bible is full of verses whereby God is constantly telling us to "fear not" because He knows we will face situations where we will feel fearful. When a child is born they are free, they cry when they need attention and food and trust that someone will attend to their cry and as they grow older that self-esteem diminishes, whether it be circumstances where a child is constantly told “you can't do it”, “you don't matter”, “I’m busy”, “you are not that important”, “what are the people going to say?”, “you embarrass us”. These words build-up and manifest as fear, doubt and anxiety etc.  It’s important to instil the word of God in our children’s hearts so that they grow knowing how to chase away fear with God’s word.

7. Remember when we used to sell Table Charm and I quit (*hides*) but you pressed on…? I also witnessed you relentlessly pursue other things and that makes me deem you a go-getter, please advise how we can all become go-getters.

Eish Mtshana (laughs) I always believed that when I do something I should do it with all my strength, to me it is a reflection of who I am. Also, I want to live my life with less or no regrets by seeing mistakes as learning curves. I believe God ordains our steps and sometimes things don't make sense when we go through them but later see the hand of God connecting all the dots to His ultimate plan for us.

I cannot emphasize enough how much it matters what you tell yourself. When you have confidence in what God can do for you and through you, then you can do anything whether you fail in it or not. And by the way, failure is the most necessary education one can ever have.  Hard work, prayer and consistency are the key ingredients in life.

8. How do you find the motivation to keep fit and stay healthy?

I have been an active person for as long as I can remember, I used to run at school. 

Every week after school I would walk to the post office with my Father, so even now, walking is still one of my favourite forms of exercise, I call it a full body-soul workout.

With regards to being healthy, I grew up as a Pescatarian (someone who eats fish but not meat) at home we only ate grains, vegetables and fruits. I guess that was considered a poor man's diet but it was the best and exactly what we needed and that's how I am also raising my children.

9. We can’t run away from the fact that there are toxic relationships/ friendships in society, do you think it’s possible to avoid toxic individuals and still “love your neighbour”?

The Bible is clear that we have to "protect our hearts as that's where life flows", and it also says that we should "fix our thoughts on what is true, honourable, right, pure, lovely and admirable, think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise", it also says " do unto others as you would like them do unto you", also says "love your neighbour as you love yourself" as a result my life is guided by these principles.

We choose who we allow in our lives, it is also our choice to stay in toxic relationships. 

My advice would be for anyone to pray for godly friends because they will be your soul-mates and can help you when you are in your valleys or lowest in life just by reminding you whose you are.

At the end of it all, we will answer before God with whatever decision or thing we have done or not done. Loving your neighbour is respecting, seeing the need and acting on it and being of help to your neighbour, while treating everyone fairly as you would like to be treated.

10. What is education, in your opinion?

Education in my view is using your God-given brains, talents and gifts to acquire knowledge, skills etc. We should nurture ideas and dreams that God puts in our hearts, no matter how silly or weird they sound to others. With hard work, prayer and consistency God will bring them to life. Sitting behind a desk is just a fraction of what education is about. I am saying this to encourage those who never had the opportunity to get a formal education. God imparts knowledge to those He chose to and willing and there is no textbook for wisdom.

11. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

The best advice I have ever received was from my Father saying "Ungaze umlahle uThixo mntanam, umele inyaniso mntanam, ukholise uThixo not umntu"

Direct translation: "Never forsake God my child, stand for the truth my child, honor God not men"

12. With most of our children seeking validation from social media, what do you think we as parents should do more of to curb this behaviour?

It’s actually not just children who seek validation from social media, adults too. Since your question is about children, I’ll go back to it. As parents, we have a responsibility of validating our children by telling and reminding them who they are and whose they are. God has borrowed us these human beings to raise them to have a relationship with their ultimate parent who is their Heavenly Father.

Our children should know that they matter to us and they matter to God. We love them as they are, they do not have to be anything or clean-up for acceptance.

13. One of the things that I admire about you is your genuineness and authenticity, how do you think parents can instil this in growing children? 

I think parents should teach their children about God, who He is, who they are to Him and live lives that model God. It is important for children to find and want God for themselves, out of love and relationship and not out of fear.

I think parents should allow children to express their thoughts, feel free and be comfortable to question what they come across while guiding them. This applies to topics around God and religion. God will answer them and reveal Himself to them. Avoid saying "no" for the sake of saying no just because you were told the same by your parents without any explanation. Nurture children’s curiosity.

As parents we should raise children who aim to please God over everything, they will be kind to others as a result.

14. In conclusion, please send a message of love to the women and young girls across the world. 

My words of encouragement to women and girls across the world (with a smile); sounds a bit cliché but it really doesn't matter what kind of circumstances you were born into, you had to be born, you matter. God wanted you here for His purpose and you have a purpose to fulfil. Young women, boys and girls, do not listen to other’s definition of who you should be.  It is their definition and perception.  Read and listen to what God says and tells you to be, He is your Creator. Be honest about who you are and what you want to achieve out of life, do not try hard and you do not have to fit in. The Bible says “do not envy", learn from others and improve yourself but maintain your unique version.

You are enough and exactly what God created you to be and to look like. We are created in His image, with different capabilities, dreams, gifts and talents, and some choose to optimise and pursue them and some don't. Decide!

We can choose to use our talents, capabilities, dreams and gifts for His glory or bury them because of fear of judgements and criticism from others.

THE END.