Thandi Dano-Ramaano

It was in the summer of 2002, in January, close to her birthday that I met Thandi. Strikingly beautiful, she was wearing a big beautiful smile, a bright yellow tank top and a pair of jeans with her long goldish hair tied into a neat bun. Her countenance so loving and welcoming, I fell in love instantly. Upon getting to know her, I discovered that she had been studying in PE and had left that course to go study Information Technology in East London. I had been bored stiff with studying Human Resources Management in East London and I instantly changed to study IT in the same institution she was enrolled in. It is at that period that we became friends. From the onset, I noticed that Thandi was all about God, she was just different; by now you can tell how much I love “different”. Soon we found ourselves sharing accommodation and everything else in Southernwood East London. Until that year, I had never met anyone like Thandi, her character made me decide that I want to one day raise my kids in the same way she had been raised. I was determined to sponge off from her character, everything I could. She was not like anything I had ever come across, almost flawless by my own standards. I wished to be reborn and be raised-up again with the same education and principles she had been raised with. You’ll be glad to know that she introduced me to that education, so that I could pass it onto my kids. Thandi introduced me to Christ - through her actions, humility, love for people, the way she honoured her parents and her siblings, her conduct in everything, her patience with me, her love for me, and her commitment to God. At the time, I never understood the depth of her commitment and how she could go to church on days where the weather was just terrible terrible - huge winds, rain and all; how she had to miss our graduation because it was on Sabbath; all of it was completely foreign to me but beautiful to behold. I wanted it, every bit of it. Another one of her greatest attributes is her genuineness, you can never not trust her advice and opinion because she is authentic in everything she does and says. I’m yet to meet someone who is as polite yet as frank as her, you can never not understand what she is saying as she doesn’t mince her words; she says what she means and means what she says. I can go and on but the platform is now hers…

Who is Thandi, and what do you think is your purpose? 

My full name is Nomthandazo.  My parents named me Nomthandazo because they prayed to have me, I am an answered prayer. My entire life is defined and revolves around prayer. I am a child of God, who is unconditionally loved, fully accepted and saved by grace. I'm a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a wife, and a mother of three children. I am the founder of Thandi Dano Clothing brand based in Johannesburg. My purpose in life is to reflect God in everything that I do. I enjoy spending time in the presence of God; reading His word, praying and singing. Looking back in my life, I had plans that I made with regards to specific careers and God redirected me to where I am. If I may unpack what I mean is that after I passed Matric, I registered to do Internal Auditing at PE Technikon and God directed me to do IT in East London and within a few days in East London, I met you friend. God connected us because He wanted you in His Kingdom. There are so many of these scenarios in my life and over the years I learnt to give in to what God wants.

2. Please let us in on your core values and beliefs:

My core values are based on the word of God, on who God says I am and remaining true to what He has created me for. I believe that God created everything by His word and created us (human beings) with His own hands and breathed His breath of life in us. 

I believe that the Sabbath is on Saturday, as written in the Bible and that we should rest as God also rested on Sabbath. I also believe and live with the assurance that Jesus is soon coming back again to take all those who believe in Him, those who will be alive at the time and will resurrect those who died in Him and be reunited with our loved ones.

3. What do you reckon is a woman of virtue?

For me, a woman of virtue is a woman who is uncompromisingly herself. A woman who is a friend of God, who loves Him with all of her heart, mind, body and soul. The bible gives us an illustration with the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was busy in the kitchen, using my imagination, she was cooking, baking and serving her guests and she expected Mary to assist, she then went to Jesus to ask Him to reprimand her. Jesus said what was unexpected by saying that Mary chose right by sitting at His feet, as it is where she belongs. This story to me defies everything that a woman of virtue should be. Even today the society constantly defines what a woman of virtue should do and look like but God has given us our identity and that's what we should be.

4. What do you think all people, especially women, should use to measure self-worth?

Self-worth can only be found in God, we cannot find our self-worth in anything or anyone outside of God, not even from our selves. Our worth can only be found and given by the person who created us. We can find our worth in who and what He says we are and mean to Him.

5. With the unfortunate rise of GBV, what in your opinion can we teach our male children about the value of life and women?

I teach my son the same thing that I teach my daughters that, "do unto others as you would like them do unto you". Both genders are equal and equally important and none of them should be superior or inferior to the other. Unfortunately, we raise our children in a patriarchal society that men are superior and that is not Godly, both men and women were created by God to help each other and complement each other. It's important for parents to believe in their children, both genders. Children should know that they can talk to their parents and be believed because in most cases perpetrators tend to be close family members and/or friends.

6. Do you think it’s possible to be completely fearless?

Of course not.  Sin brought fear, the Bible is full of verses whereby God is constantly telling us to "fear not" because He knows we will face situations where we will feel fearful. When a child is born they are free, they cry when they need attention and food and trust that someone will attend to their cry and as they grow older that self-esteem diminishes, whether it be circumstances where a child is constantly told “you can't do it”, “you don't matter”, “I’m busy”, “you are not that important”, “what are the people going to say?”, “you embarrass us”. These words build-up and manifest as fear, doubt and anxiety etc.  It’s important to instil the word of God in our children’s hearts so that they grow knowing how to chase away fear with God’s word.

7. Remember when we used to sell Table Charm and I quit (*hides*) but you pressed on…? I also witnessed you relentlessly pursue other things and that makes me deem you a go-getter, please advise how we can all become go-getters.

Eish Mtshana (laughs) I always believed that when I do something I should do it with all my strength, to me it is a reflection of who I am. Also, I want to live my life with less or no regrets by seeing mistakes as learning curves. I believe God ordains our steps and sometimes things don't make sense when we go through them but later see the hand of God connecting all the dots to His ultimate plan for us.

I cannot emphasize enough how much it matters what you tell yourself. When you have confidence in what God can do for you and through you, then you can do anything whether you fail in it or not. And by the way, failure is the most necessary education one can ever have.  Hard work, prayer and consistency are the key ingredients in life.

8. How do you find the motivation to keep fit and stay healthy?

I have been an active person for as long as I can remember, I used to run at school. 

Every week after school I would walk to the post office with my Father, so even now, walking is still one of my favourite forms of exercise, I call it a full body-soul workout.

With regards to being healthy, I grew up as a Pescatarian (someone who eats fish but not meat) at home we only ate grains, vegetables and fruits. I guess that was considered a poor man's diet but it was the best and exactly what we needed and that's how I am also raising my children.

9. We can’t run away from the fact that there are toxic relationships/ friendships in society, do you think it’s possible to avoid toxic individuals and still “love your neighbour”?

The Bible is clear that we have to "protect our hearts as that's where life flows", and it also says that we should "fix our thoughts on what is true, honourable, right, pure, lovely and admirable, think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise", it also says " do unto others as you would like them do unto you", also says "love your neighbour as you love yourself" as a result my life is guided by these principles.

We choose who we allow in our lives, it is also our choice to stay in toxic relationships. 

My advice would be for anyone to pray for godly friends because they will be your soul-mates and can help you when you are in your valleys or lowest in life just by reminding you whose you are.

At the end of it all, we will answer before God with whatever decision or thing we have done or not done. Loving your neighbour is respecting, seeing the need and acting on it and being of help to your neighbour, while treating everyone fairly as you would like to be treated.

10. What is education, in your opinion?

Education in my view is using your God-given brains, talents and gifts to acquire knowledge, skills etc. We should nurture ideas and dreams that God puts in our hearts, no matter how silly or weird they sound to others. With hard work, prayer and consistency God will bring them to life. Sitting behind a desk is just a fraction of what education is about. I am saying this to encourage those who never had the opportunity to get a formal education. God imparts knowledge to those He chose to and willing and there is no textbook for wisdom.

11. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

The best advice I have ever received was from my Father saying "Ungaze umlahle uThixo mntanam, umele inyaniso mntanam, ukholise uThixo not umntu"

Direct translation: "Never forsake God my child, stand for the truth my child, honor God not men"

12. With most of our children seeking validation from social media, what do you think we as parents should do more of to curb this behaviour?

It’s actually not just children who seek validation from social media, adults too. Since your question is about children, I’ll go back to it. As parents, we have a responsibility of validating our children by telling and reminding them who they are and whose they are. God has borrowed us these human beings to raise them to have a relationship with their ultimate parent who is their Heavenly Father.

Our children should know that they matter to us and they matter to God. We love them as they are, they do not have to be anything or clean-up for acceptance.

13. One of the things that I admire about you is your genuineness and authenticity, how do you think parents can instil this in growing children? 

I think parents should teach their children about God, who He is, who they are to Him and live lives that model God. It is important for children to find and want God for themselves, out of love and relationship and not out of fear.

I think parents should allow children to express their thoughts, feel free and be comfortable to question what they come across while guiding them. This applies to topics around God and religion. God will answer them and reveal Himself to them. Avoid saying "no" for the sake of saying no just because you were told the same by your parents without any explanation. Nurture children’s curiosity.

As parents we should raise children who aim to please God over everything, they will be kind to others as a result.

14. In conclusion, please send a message of love to the women and young girls across the world. 

My words of encouragement to women and girls across the world (with a smile); sounds a bit cliché but it really doesn't matter what kind of circumstances you were born into, you had to be born, you matter. God wanted you here for His purpose and you have a purpose to fulfil. Young women, boys and girls, do not listen to other’s definition of who you should be.  It is their definition and perception.  Read and listen to what God says and tells you to be, He is your Creator. Be honest about who you are and what you want to achieve out of life, do not try hard and you do not have to fit in. The Bible says “do not envy", learn from others and improve yourself but maintain your unique version.

You are enough and exactly what God created you to be and to look like. We are created in His image, with different capabilities, dreams, gifts and talents, and some choose to optimise and pursue them and some don't. Decide!

We can choose to use our talents, capabilities, dreams and gifts for His glory or bury them because of fear of judgements and criticism from others.

THE END.

Soso Maganga

I can’t talk about Soso without her beauty jumping into my thoughts; & I hate to mention physical beauty when talking about any woman because I never want to dilute her strong attributes such as intelligence, grace and poise, but let’s be honest, this is Nangamso Maganga! 

Upon meeting Sauce, as I refer to her, the first thing I noticed were her “physical blessings”, and I promise, that would have meant absolutely nothing for me had her character been any different. But my absolute adoration for Soso lies, amongst other things, in the beauty of her heart, her ability to do things I find hard to do, her meekness, her love for kids, her ability to quickly adapt to a situation, her strength and ability to stand with her head up, and her fearlessness to be different in a world that pesters us to be what everybody else is and do what everyone is doing. The Book of Women is privileged to feature her in this chapter, she is a woman of very few words and as such, many will agree that getting her to open up is almost close to impossible, therefore this is a complete exclusive! let’s dive in…

1. Who are you and what do you think your purpose on earth is?

My name is Nangamso Xabisa Maganga, a woman with a big heart, my purpose on earth is to show that being different is also cool.

2. What do you understand about spiritual, mental, physical, economic growth?

My understanding of spiritual growth is that nothing around you really matters in the sense that, you should do what God is telling you to do even if the people who surround you have a different opinion. And this is not to say you'll be shoving your beliefs and opinions into people's faces, but rather do it authentically because this is genuinely who you are without pretence. I think spiritual growth also involves rising every time you fall. Mental growth to me, is the ability to calm yourself down even during the times of being overwhelmed by things not going your way and life just being upside down but you're still able to take a deep breath and take a step back. Physical growth is being happy with how you look and taking care of your health. Economic growth for me is being able to financially take care of yourself continuously, and also being able to take of care of other people such as, buying shoes or clothes for a child that needs them, or buying groceries for the family that needs food down the street... just being able to spend money outside of yourself and your family.

3. What would you want to be remembered by?

I'd like to be remembered as someone who was a lady, not by physical appearance but rather by the way in which I carried myself. I'd like people to remember me as someone who lived a life that testified that no matter what happens, there is God in heaven and He is always good.

4. What daily motivations/ affirmations do you live by?

The fact that the Lord is coming again is what motivates me on a daily basis, there are days one wants to throw in the towel and give up but looking forward to that glorious morning brings about new hope, and I then remember that I can never afford to miss it, for everything will be revealed and on that day everything will eventually make sense.

5. How would you advise your 13 year old self?

I would tell her that unconditional self love will help you not to seek love and validation from outward sources, and that as she goes through life she should be careful not to depend on people's opinions of herself because one moment people approve you, the next they don't because essentially people don't even know who they are and what they want in life. Also, that she should know that she may along the way lose relationships even from blood family but that's not the end because family may always be found even outside of blood relations, be it from church members, friends, colleagues, etc. That she should learn to accept certain realities and just laugh them off, be that woman that loves unconditionally even if you don't really have the experience of unconditional love and lastly for her to always treat others fairly even if she has not been treated in that manner.

6. What is your take on teenage challenges such as teenage pregnancies, suicide, and substance abuse?

I actually took it upon myself to converse with a teenager and asked her why it is that they do certain things such as early dating, and her response was that it's for fun, nothing serious and that led me to draw a conclusion that they are bored and curious, and it's kind of understandable as I liken the situation to a plate of food. If you're being served the same boring kind of food everyday you'll be curious to find out what it's like to be served a plate that is colourful with variety. But I think children, regardless of what society bombards them with, should be taught to seek to be different and take a route less travelled because in all honesty, there's hardly any value in what t.v. and social media is dangling in front of their faces. It's easier said than done, but it's worth trying.

7. What do you understand about education?

My take on education is being knowledgeable, not only in a field you have studied but rather an all-rounder, having wisdom that surpasses all understanding because, one can be knowledgeable academically but only to find out that they're just not wise and lack knowledge other than what they went to school for.

8. What are your talents and how are you using them to positively impact the next person?

I love to teach, but not be a teacher by profession but to just impart knowledge from my experiences. I also love nurturing and just taking care of others in a motherly manner.

9. What would you like to achieve before you die/ before Jesus comes back?

Materialistically I'd love to have a home for my kids, and emotionally I'd love to be able to grow the room of me loving people unconditionally. I'd love to also get to a point of loving myself unconditionally and just have that inner peace, also I'd love to get my kids to a point of having them smile from within instead of always seeing worry on their faces. Some people have said that there's a kind of calmness about me, I'd love to extend that to other people and just provide for them a safe space of feeling the calm and feeling like they are cared for.

10. What's do you consider fun?

Anything that has to do with outdoor adventure activities, hiking, camping, team-building activities... just the outdoors. Also just lazying around doing nothing or taking a long bath, date nights with the kids, or my girls, that type of thing.

11. If a girl child would shadow you for a week, what would you make sure to teach them?

Beauty comes from within, the most beautiful girl is one that possesses a beautiful personality and character, one that is kind, polite, respectful, has love, etc. Most of the time society teaches girls to only groom the outside, but I think more focus should be put into building characters and that when they get to do anything, they should do it with the utmost love and passion, that no matter how small the task was, the outcome must be big and amazing, e.g, when she cooks food, she should cook with love and such dedication that the effort is evident in the result.

12. What is the greatest lesson that you've learnt about life in general?

As hard as life can be, it can be hilarious in the sense that, sometimes after going through a rough patch, when you sit down and think about it, you can actually laugh when you realise the ironies, the lesson there is that, try to find the humour and the positive in every trial and tribulation. Also that as we go through life, being alert (especially when receiving advice because the final decision lies with you) and trusting ourselves goes a long way.

13. What do you appreciate the most about yourself?

The love I have and am able to give. It doesn't matter how hurt I get or how I may get treated terribly, I always try to find the spark of love and keep it going. I'm just a big ball of love.

14. What does self-love mean to you?

Self love for me is hearing negative opinions about yourself and still having the audacity to appreciate yourself. We can't run away from the fact that there will always be negative opinions surrounding us, and you may sometimes find yourself questioning your being, but you don't have to dwell there. You have to know and trust who you are and not want to change for anything and anyone, and just follow what you deem important instead of following what people think you should be doing. e.g, if you're a mother who chooses not to have a "job", then stay home and do not listen to people whose opinion says you are not ambitious. Stick to your values because your success and achievements can't be measured by what other people value important. In such situations, your self-love should really stick out.

15. What do you reckon "women empowerment" involves?

For me, as much as it is important for women to be empowered with great career positions and rewards, I think we should not be leaving young girls behind by empowering them emotionally, spiritually, etc because if we're only focusing on the former, it seems to me like we're only building one leg while leaving the other leg to not grow any muscle. We should remember that small kids will grow old and we should want them to be well equipped. Also, while at that, I think we should focus on developing a woman in all spheres, taking care to remember that women are multi-faceted. We need to empower women to run economies as CEO's, while also not forgetting that the same woman is a community leader and a family leader. We need to teach females to shine everywhere they are.

16. Do you think one is ever too old to start something new? Please elaborate

Starting something new as an adult is definitely not easy, especially if you also have a challenge of having non-supportive people around you, but if you have the strength in you and you know that you're not going to feel insecure, and you're not going to panic when you hear negative opinions, then go right ahead. Start whatever it is that you want to start and do it big, with love, give it your all. Don't forget to close your ears to negativity and believe in yourself, you're never too old to start something new. Just never be swayed or give up.

17. What kind of books do you read and what is the one book or two that have changed your life?

I'm not much of a reader to be honest. Does reading bible story books for kids count? I must say I love reading and benefiting from them because they have an element of history as it fascinates me, and I love them because they give me hope. But I'd love to read books on empowering children.

18. What do you think you should be doing more of?

I'd love to be given an opportunity to create more pleasant memories for me and my kids, the previous seven years have been tough for us and I'd love to experience a change of events. I'd love to do more "day one" things, rather than "one day", e.g. instead of saying "one day I'll do that" rather "today is day one of doing that (then seeing it through)" , that's what I'd like to be doing more of. I'd also love to find inner peace more frequently.

19. What do you understand about "leading by example"?

It is showing the way to those coming after you by doing what you're teaching. If you preach one thing and do something else, the kids will always question your authority.

20. What is the hardest thing you've had to do or go through, and what did you learn from it?

Parenting during the last seven years has been the hardest thing because I had to have added strength to face each day; life was just exceedingly hard. It was at such a difficult time that I begun to understand that depression is real, I got to understand why some parents choose to walk away, I'm not condoning it, but I now understand and have loosened the judgements I held towards parents who cope differently. Parenting is hard! But as with all difficult situations, there are lessons and growth. My kids grew to understand and deal with different personalities and characters, also through that harsh phase of our lives; I learnt that there is God in heaven whose grace does carry us through, I could've never made it without strength from Him. Also it is in that process that I learned that I had the most awesome dad, who allowed God to use him to parent me, even though I think he may not have been aware. Through my father I realised that God has always had my back and I'm grateful for that.

21 In closing, what would you like to say to young girls?

Lord knows I love them, my message to young girls is; love yourself unconditionally. Please take care of the inner beauty first and foremost as it will make the outside beauty outstanding and timeless; be your own best friend, do your level best to know yourself, and that way society will not interfere in you becoming a beautiful wonderful lady.

THE END.

You're simply the best!

This is to appreciate YOU for coming here over and over again to read each and every story that is posted here. It means a lot for us as some of the chapters are a bit long. However we have decided that, after chapter five onwards, the chapters are going to be a little shorter, so that we don't take most of your valuable time.

Please continue supporting us and please come back for more, we still have more amazing women that we are going to feature, and this is only phase one of the The Book of Women, there are more good things that are still coming.

Thank you and thank you!!!

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